


Lifeline: Sasha

by Denrhea



Series: Lifeline [4]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Backstory of Original Character Sasha, Lifeline Series, M/M, Obsession, Stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-10 12:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 10,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11691744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: How does obsession begin?  How does it morph into something dark?  This work will explore the motivations of Sasha from the Lifeline series.  Chapters will be short, like snapshots.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is FINISHED. You are welcome to leave comments but I may not necessarily reply. I am interacting with the current part being written.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of obsession…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, BluSkates!

* * *

   


Sasha stared at the photo sent by Phichit.  _Damn!  That’s Victor’s new love interest?  Shit!_   Sasha had to sit down and catch his breath.  The photo was contemplative, as if the subject was unaware.  The light and shadows played across the scene.  The subject wore black, long sleeves, clinging black leggings, one skate with the toe pick dug into the ice.  His arm extended showing the muscle definition of his back, his other arm stretched back drawing attention to possibly the best ass he had ever laid eyes on, the clingy leggings catching the planes and tightness of the muscles. 

“What are you looking at?” 

Sasha looked up startled and met the green eyes of his boyfriend.  He shrugged, “Nothing, Lyosha.  I’m just studying a picture I’ve been commissioned to paint.”

Alexei smiled tolerantly.  He knew how focused Sasha became when he worked.  “Oh, don’t forget.  Tomorrow we have a dinner party for work.”  He passed the invitation to the younger man addressed to _Alexei and Alexander_.  The older man was involved in business and this meant business mingling.  Sasha was beautiful, elegant, could move in crowds above his station in life.  He had Victor to thank for this.  The figure skater, Sasha’s first love, had exposed the artist to an elegant lifestyle.  Of course, that made him crave the finer things in life.  Alexei sometimes wondered if Sasha loved him or his money.

Sasha set his phone aside.  “How could I forget, _zvezda moya_?”  Sasha moved into the older man’s embrace, his kisses teasing along the jawline of the brunette.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sweet...this is a little later in A & A's relationship before the breakup.

Alexei glanced over in irritation.  Sasha kept glancing at his phone, a picture presumably.  He’d been drawing this one figure over and over again.  “Why don’t you put it down for a while?  You need to eat.”

Sasha huffed.  “I’ve got to get this right.”

“I know you are a perfectionist but is there a deadline to this commission?”

Sasha glared.  “I don’t tell you how to do your work.  Nor do I complain when you work late.  All I ask is that you show me the same courtesy.”

 

Two hours later, he tucked away his drawing board.  Alexei had gone to bed without him. 

**Sasha/ He’s so controlling.**

**Vitya/ Then why are you still with him?**

**Sasha/ Because I have to live somewhere.**

**Vitya/ Well, you have my place until August.**

**Sasha/ I don’t know…**

 

A smile teased at his lips.  He _did_ have a refuge.  Padding his feet into the next room, he crawled in between the sheets. 

Alexei pulled the younger man into his arms and murmured against his ear, “I hate it when we fight. I just want you to take care of yourself.”

“I know my limits, Lyosha.  You worry too much.”  He closed his eyes as he felt the other man nuzzle the hair at the base of his neck.  _I wonder what his kisses would feel like._

Those kisses trailed down the back of his neck.  Sasha toyed with the idea of pushing the other man away but instead disappeared into his head.  As Alexei teased him, he imagined another man’s touch instead.  As he called out Lyosha’s name as he came in his mind he was shouting another.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finishes the painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave you two today because I failed to put one together last Sunday.

* * *

 

Sasha frowned, reluctant to go home.  He had just installed the painting of Yuuri.  _Such a beautiful man, mysterious, silent._  Glancing to the side, he studied Victor.  He has his own problems.  Dating Victor was a play on distance.  He never lets anyone close.  “You must be so lonely, Yuuri _lyubov moya_.  Victor can be so cold when he skates, like the ice gets into his blood.  You need someone to warm you, to revive you to the world.”  He traced his fingers along the figure shrouded in shadows, the light from the windows playing across his skin, black pants and t-shirt, disheveled hair.  “I could spend so long running my fingers through your hair.”

 

He sighed as his phone chimed.  Picking it up, he saw another text from Alexei.

 

**Lyosha/ Are you coming home tonight?**

 

He frowned.  What would he say if…

 

**Sasha/ I might just sleep here.**

 

**Lyosha/ It’s late for walking I know but I can come get you.**

 

Sasha huffed.  _You can’t give me any space._  

 

**Sasha/ Fine.  I’ll meet you downstairs in 15.**

 

**Lyosha/ Good.  Do you want to grab dinner or fix something at home?**

 

Sasha considered.  _Forcing pleasant conversation in public but with very little physical contact because…Russia.  Or sitting at home enduring his arm wrapped around me._

 

**Sasha/ Dinner sounds great.**

 

Half an hour later, that sat across from one another.  “How was work?”

 

“I picked up a new client.  I’m going to have several late nights.  That’s why I wanted to spend tonight with you.”

 

“Hmmm.  If you’re going to be working late, I might stay at Victor’s condo and work late on my projects.”

 

Alexei sighed.  “I can pick you up when I finish.”

 

“I have a bed in the guest room.  It’s not a problem.”

 

“I didn’t say it was a problem,” the taller Russian protested as he poured them each a glass of wine.  “I just miss you when you’re away.”

 

Sasha sighed, accepting his glass.  Sasha studied his reflection the glass, the corners of his lips had dropped.  He could tell he looked petulant, his eyebrows drawn a little as he pouted.

 

Alexei tried to hit the topic at another angle.  “I worry, Sasha.  That’s all.  I know you get so busy you forget to eat.”

 

“Is that what it is?  It sounds more like jealousy.”  Sasha arched an eyebrow accusingly.

 

Alexei pursed his lips.  “I’m not going to fight with you.  Not here.  Not now.  We’ll continue this at home.”  His voice was cold.  Like Victor’s when they were breaking apart.  Victor hated to make a scene as well.  He had a public image to preserve. 

 

Sasha blinked, staring at the glass before tipping it back in one turn of the wrist.  Setting the glass down, he stated, “I’m ready to go home now.”

 

“You haven’t touched your meal.”

 

“According to you, that’s my norm.”

 

Alexei sighed.  Signaling the waiter, he asked for Sasha’s meal to be wrapped up and the check.

 

“I don’t want it,” Sasha stated coldly.

 

“You may change your mind later,” Alexei stated quietly, defeated.  Gathering the bag, he placed his hand on Sasha’s back.  “Let’s go home.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexei finds out more about his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This are short and sweet so I don't bother my betas about reading them. It gives them something to look forward to and I already demand too much of them. ;)

* * *

 

Alexei picked up the sketchbook and a loose sketch fell out.  Bending down to pick it up he dropped it suddenly like it burned.  “Sasha…what are you doing?” he muttered under his breath.  The drawing was not like his normal portrait drawings to say the least.  Picking it up finally, he opened the sketchpad and thumbed through it.  Drawing after drawing of the same man.  The man in the falling sketch.  These weren’t suggestive but the sketches were created with great care.  Looking at the other sketch, though, an intimacy was suggested.

 

“Do you have a lover?” he asked to himself, his eyebrows furrowing.  He dropped to the sofa as the shock settled in.  _I love you.  I would give you anything.  Why would you cheat on me?_

 

The lock in the door jingled.  Alexei looked up startled, shoving the picture into the sketchbook and tossing it on the coffee table as if he’d gotten caught.  Sasha sauntered into the room.  “My portfolio was accepted.  I’ll be in the gallery show in a month.”

 

Alexei forced a smile.  “You’ll have to let me know when so that I can make sure to clear my schedule.”

 

Sasha smiled warmly, moving into his space.  “Of course.  I can’t wait to share my work with you.” 

 

As Sasha snuggled into his embrace, Alexei frowned over his shoulder staring at the sketchbook.  _For now I’ll accept your lies.  We’ll see if this blows over._ Sasha’s kisses along his neck pulled him from his thoughts and he surrendered to the younger man’s demands.  _Damn._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...that could be the one that was found stashed behind the painting...or not.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gallery showing...Sasha's perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another...

* * *

 

Sasha mingled chatting vibrantly with the various patrons at the gallery, his eyes casting towards the door every so often.  _Where is Lyosha?_   He was pulled to the side to talk about one of his pieces in the installation.

 

“I’m really enjoying the darker themes in your art of late,” Gregor commented.

 

Sasha tilted his head thoughtfully.  _Are they darker?_   “I suppose the storms affect me.  Sometimes on rainy days my mood shifts.  I didn’t even realized it carried over into my work.”

 

Gregor laughed.  “My wife is the same.  When she sculpts during the storms, they become a tempest.  I like it though.  Raw.  Emotional.”

 

Gregor walked away leaving Sasha contemplating the piece before him.  _The darker colors definitely shifted the mood and the expressions of the people were almost…sad? Bitter?  This one held longing.  The model stared out the window, her eyes watching for someone, waiting.  But something sad touched her features, an uncertainty, as if she worried it would go unrequited._

 

Sasha broke away from the painting and began to mingle once more.  He smiled and charmed the patrons.  As the evening wore on, though, his smile became forced.  _He promised!_

 

* * *

 

 

When Sasha came through the door, he was more than irritated.  However, his steps stopped short when he saw the spread before him.  Sketch after sketch of Yuuri Katsuki laid out.  Some were made from the photos he managed to get from Phichit.  Others…from his imagination.   He swallowed and looked up at the man standing by the window drinking a glass of wine.

 

“Who is he?” Alexei demanded coldly.

 

“H-he’s nobody,” Sasha lied.

 

“Alexander!  I know you.  Your drawings have a basis in reality at least.  Some of these drawings are too detailed for them not to be a real person.  Who. Is. He?”

 

Sasha swallowed, his eyes resting on the drawings, his well-constructed world falling apart beneath his feet.  “I-I don’t actually know him.  A celebrity.  I ran across him when researching for Vitya’s commissions.”  He watched Alexei tense at the diminutive.  He knew better.  It was a slip of the tongue, that familiarity.  “I was using him as a model.”

 

Alexei turned, holding onto his eyes.  “You are practically fucking him with your pen.”

 

“It’s just a fantasy.”

 

“Is this what you want me to do to you?  Tie you up?  Leave you naked for the world to see?”

 

“I-I…it wasn’t…he’s not on display for the world.  Just for me,” Sasha argued then realized it was the wrong thing to say as Alexei’s eyes narrowed.  The cuff against his cheek was hard and sent the younger man spinning backwards.

 

“I want you out by morning.  I’m spending the night with my sister.” 

 

Sasha jumped as the door slammed on his exit.  Rubbing the bruise blooming on his face, he felt the sting of tears fall.   _It was just a drawing.  A few.  Why?  Everything is fucked up._  

 

As he gathered his drawings, he sat down on the sofa and studied one of them.  _What’s Vitya going to think?  God, what am I doing?  I’m obsessing over your boyfriend and in the process lost mine!_

 

He began packing.  A lot of his things were already at Victor’s place _.  I guess…I’ll stay there.  For a while at least._

 

Calling a cab, he began lugging his belongings to the elevator _.  I rarely bring work home.  I was just stuck on an idea and Lyosha was working late.  And we haven’t been together in some time.  My imagination is my retreat.  I know I can’t have him._

 

As he stood in the nights air, a final thought touched him.  _But I want him._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving in and settling in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm two weeks ahead! Therefore, I must write some Sasha chapters! I may even post some during the week. We'll see. Here's the first for today. Remember, these are short, wicked and unbeta'd. So enjoy the rawness of it!

* * *

 

 

Sasha unpacked his last box.  _I haven’t told Vitya.  Will he be mad?  He did ask me to housesit for him.  If…I do this right, I may be able to stay.  If I play this right…I won’t have to worry about pedestrian things such as rent.  Okay, so I can’t let Victor know I want Yuuri._  

 

Sasha migrated from room to room still feeling unsettled _.  I should put the furniture back in order, move my things to the corner.  Make it a home, not a studio._   He went to work, sliding, shoving, scooting, until the living room finally looked like a living room.  He then went into the kitchen and started a shopping list.  _It’s starting to feel like home.  It was only a matter of time before things fell apart between me and Lyosha.  Just like me and Vitya.  Why is it that men with money lack the ability to stir the passions of an artist?  I suspect you feel the same, Yuuri._

 

He opened the door into Victor’s bedroom and took in the cold lines of the modern décor, the uncluttered surfaces, the…perfect order.  _True artists live messy lives.  I was always afraid to be messy around you.  Do you feel the same, Yuuri?  Stiffled?_  

 

Sasha stretched out on the sofa, pulling his phone before him, scrolling through pictures of Yuuri.  Phichit had shared several with him.  He finally settled on one, a picture of Yuuri with Victor standing behind him, his arms wrapped around his waist, his smile warm and affectionate looking towards the camera.  And Sasha could almost imagine it as himself on the other side of that camera, that he was the recipient of that warmth.  He could just about erase the image of Victor behind him and replace it with his own. 

 

Drawing out his sketchpad, he started to draw in the guidelines.  Soon he had the rough sketch in place, a different man in Yuuri’s life.  _This is as it should be, Yuuri darling.  You look so much better with me standing behind you._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finishing Yuuri’s portrait, hiding the drawing like a love letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning...some of these get really creepy. Like this one.

* * *

 

Sasha surveyed the portrait before him.  _Yuuri…so beautiful.  The best kind of beauty.  Unassuming.  You definitely are unaware of it…not like Vitya, not like Lyosha.  You blush with compliments and deny them.  You hide your face in embarrassment.  What would you look like if I showered you with compliments?  Would you hide your face in my shoulder?  What would it feel like to have you in my arms, the heat rising in your body?_

 

He smiled, thinking about that.  He loved thinking of Yuuri intimately.  He enjoyed where his imagination took him.  Reaching for one of his sketchbooks, he opened it up to some more risqué drawings.  _What would it be like to have you laid out for only me to enjoy?  Would you drop your chin in submission, waiting for me to give you permission?  Would you fight against the restraints and show you’re not weak?_

 

_I want to see you wrapped up in a red ribbon, wound up in blue rope, the knots braided against your skin.  I want to watch you staring at me, waiting for me, breathless.  Would you eagerly arch towards my touch?_

 

He finally rested his fingers on a drawing _.  I’ll leave this for you so that you know what I offer you, a life where you can explore the darker sides of your soul.  This is something I can give you that Vitya won’t.  We don’t even have to be open about.  He never has to know._

 

Placing the sketch into the backing of the painting, he smiled to himself thoughtfully.   _No_ , _he never has to know._


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unpacking the photos and hanging them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's still creepy...

* * *

 

 

Sasha sat in Victor’s room, frowning.  The boxes arrived weeks ago at the end of May.  He just set them in Victor’s room as he asked.  But he knew the ones marked with Phichit’s name contained photos. 

 

“I’ll just hang them.  I’m only being nice,” Sasha justified.  He edged open the first case slowly breaking loose the seal.  He knew how to [transport](http://www.caseworkscrating.com/fine-art-crates) art and Phichit didn’t slack on his work.  Victor probably footed the bill.  Popping the wood loose, he pulled open the lid and looked into the slides.  Individual slots held the frames from the exhibition.  He pulled the first one loose and deliberated.  “He told me to just set them in his room, that he’d deal with them when he came to Russia.”  Chewing his lip, he shrugged.  “He probably doesn’t want to trouble me.  It’s no trouble.  I wanted to go to the exhibition myself.” 

 

Justification in place, he broke the seal on the first photo.  The sight of Yuuri, his haunted eyes, stirred something within him.  _You are…beautiful.  More so than I imagined._   He reached for another and then another, arranging them on the bed as he considered how they should be displayed, his expert eye seeing a story in the beautiful pictures, Yuuri, Victor, Yuuri and Victor. 

 

Then another crate.  He opened it and started to pull them free.  These…were more personal.   Sasha frowned.  _Oh, he’s not mine.  He’s…Victor’s.  What am I doing?_   He studied the moment, Yuuri laughing in Victor’s arms, the shadows creating intimacy.  The next one, a kiss.  The next, Yuuri’s head resting on Victor’s shoulder as they danced.  The next one, Yuuri sleeping cradled in front of Victor on a sofa.  They continued, the intimacy open for the world to see.  _I’ve…never seen Victor like this.  This…isn’t the Vitya I knew.  He’s…caring.  He…_

 

Sasha shut down that line of thought.  He left the room, feeling those eyes on him accusing him of intruding.  _What am I doing?  I want him…but…Victor…he loves him.  Victor is my friend.  But…Yuuri…_

 

He curled up in a ball in his room, pulling the blankets over his head as he processed the information.

 

Hours later, he emerged.  Hammer and nails in hand, he reentered Victor’s room.  He already broke the seals.  He may as well finish the job.  Starting with the less intimate pieces near the door, he worked towards the bed with intimacy.  The photos are uniform in size, the frames black and simple.  The matte, white.  He created a line, like a border, eyelevel around the room. 

 

As he started to leave, he paused at the picture closest to the door.  It was similar to the painting, Yuuri standing alone, stark against the shadowed background leaning against a rail, his skates still on the ice, lost in thought.  _Perhaps…he’s dreaming of another life.  Perhaps…he wants me.  I just have to find a way to communicate with him, to let him know I’m receptive._

 

_I’m sorry Victor._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...even if he second guesses himself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contacting Victor about not having any place to go.

* * *

 

“Hi, Vitya!” he knew his voice was overbright.  Oh, well, Victor knew him well enough to read between the lines.

 

“Hello, Sasha.  What’s going on?”  Concern filtered through the conversation. 

 

Sasha squirmed as he looked for his words.  “I’ve got a problem.  Lyosha and I split up.”

 

“What?  When?”  Sasha winced at the concern he heard on the other end of the line.

 

He hemmed and hawed for a few moments as he spit out, “Well, it’s been a couple of weeks.  I moved into your place.  I hope that’s okay.”

 

Silence for a moment before Victor responded, “Well, I suppose.  I did ask you to housesit."

 

“I know…it’s just that, I know you’re coming back soon.  And I swear, I’m trying to find a place.  There just…doesn’t seem to be a lot available.”  His words were rushed, sputtered, uncertain.  _Don’t kick me out, Victor!_

 

“I see…”  

 

 _Two words.  Victor, you can do better than that.  Where do I stand?  Sasha_ decided a little push was necessary.  Edging some panic into his voice, he added, “Don’t be mad, Vitya!  I’ll keep trying.  I just…hope you won’t put me out on the streets?”

 

A grunt of frustration followed by, “God, no, Sasha!  Have I ever?  How could you think I’d do that?"

 

"I know...I just...it was so sudden."

 

"He's been controlling for a while.  We've talked about this.  It's probably a good thing you are out."

 

"Thank you, Vitya.  I wasn't sure how you'd react.  I thought I'd find something by now."

 

"I'm your friend so calm down.  You'll find something.  Just…keep looking.  I’ve got to tell Yuuri.”

 

_Tell Yuuri.  What would Yuuri think?  He’s coming to Russia soon.  We’ll get to meet.  Finally.  I’m waiting for you, Yuuri!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, yeah...Sasha's been telling him how controlling Lyosha's been being...


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unpacking Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you get to know what Sasha was thinking when he unpacked Yuuri's belongings.

* * *

 

The boxes arrived from Detroit several weeks ago.  Sasha did as instructed and put them in Victor’s room.  Over the last few days, though, he found himself going into Victor’s room more and more often, his fingers grazing across the surfaces.  Some of the handwriting was recognizable…clearly Vitya’s.  The other…sharp, concise, roman print in sharpie.  Sasha traced the letters then ran his fingers down the tape. 

 

“Just set it aside in my room.  We’ll deal with it when we come to Russia,” Victor said with his cheerful voice.

 

_Maybe he just said that because he didn’t want to be a bother.  Wouldn’t they be much more comfortable if I helped them out?  Wouldn’t they feel much more welcome if I unpacked for them?_

 

He thumbed a loose piece of tape a moment longer before he thinned his lips and nodded, determination setting into his smile.  He broke the tape, slicing down the edge and opened the first box.  Hanging clothes.  It must be Yuuri’s, much too small for Vitya.  He lifted the first few items and hung them.  Returning, he pulled out the next item, his eyes widening.  _Is this a dress?  Oh, my Yuura!_   He hung the dress and returned, digging around to find more.  One dress, then another, a blousy shirt with glittered blue fabric and a single sleeve, another blousy shirt in red with more glitter that ties at the hip.  Black pants cut for a dancer.  Slacks, suit jackets.  Another dress, black, cocktail.  _God, I can’t wait to see you all dressed up, Yuuri dear._

 

Returning to open another box, he found more finds for the closet.  Next he located the shoes.  Each shoe was individually wrapped in tissue.  Beautiful heels with elegant lines.  Straps, buckles, elastics, silk ties.  His fingers thumbed along the silk as he remembered one particular fantasy drawing.  He allowed his eyes to lose focus while he considered other uses for the ribbon.  Shaking off the fantasy, he began to organize the shoes into the closet. 

 

The next two boxes held workout clothes, dance gear, well-worn dance shoes.  _Vitya sent me video of you dancing, performing so beautifully, your expression so tortured, so beautiful.  Would you look that beautiful for me?_

 

Reaching for the final box with Yuuri’s name on it, he sliced open the tape.  Pulling the flaps open, his eyes widened at the silk and lace treasure before him.  He reached down and lifted out a pair of panties and felt his temperature rise, his blood rushing south.  “Oh, my beautiful Yuuuuuraaaa…” he breathed.  He lifted one item after another, folding them with care after smelling them, seeking some whiff of the Japanese man.  He found it half way in.  The scent caught in the folds of fabric even though it was clearly clean.  He pulled that out and set it into a separate pile.  More searching revealed more items.  Yuuri had so many, he won’t mind if I hold onto these. 

 

Opening the drawer, he placed the intimate pieces with care, making sure each bit of lace and silk was arranged neatly but with a sense of display _.  I want you to know your treasures are mine, Yuura.  Just as you are my treasure._  Reaching in, he stroked the fabric.  _So beautiful!_  

 

Before he left the room, he gathered his acquisitions and brought them with him to his room, his hand reaching down to touch himself even as he breathed them in.  _We will make beautiful art together._

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anticipation of seeing Yuuri the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much Sasha this weekend! Whatever could that mean?

* * *

 

“We’ll meet you at home,” Victor told him. 

 

_No, that wouldn’t do.  My Yuuri deserved better.  My Yuuri should be met at the airport._  Sasha paced back and forth in the apartment, his eyes darting

Anticipation of seeing Yuuri the first time.

towards the clock _.  I can’t wait to see you, to touch you for the first time.  You’ll see then.  I know you will realize we are meant to be together.  Your photos have become love letters to my soul._

 

He touched the different objects, places where he hid his little surprises to Yuuri.  A private drawing stashed behind a painting, a song behind a photo, a note tucked away in your lingerie, sweet bath soaps, flowers on the counter.  Nothing over the top.  Just enough.  Subtle.  You like a light touch, don’t you, Yuuri?

 

The clock clicked past the hour.  _My ride will be here in half an hour.  I can’t wait to see the look on your face._  Sasha skipped around the apartment all giddy with excitement as he continued to make things perfect for the man coming home to him. 

 

Finally at the airport, he waited.  Then the crowd parted, and his eyes rested on the brunette before him.  _He’s so much more beautiful in person!_  Sasha’s heart skipped a beat as his hand rested on his chest.

 

“Sasha,” Victor greeted with an odd note to his voice.  “What a…surprise!”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drawing Yuuri sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a sweet sleeping beauty!

* * *

 

Sasha came home after running errands.  _Apartment hunting.  I suppose I have to make it look good for your sake, Yuuri._   He walked into the front door and stopped.  Yuuri was curled up asleep, his dog Cocoa wrapped around his legs.  _So beautiful!  I must draw…oh, he asked me not to draw him._  

 

Studying the sleeping man a bit longer, he determined _, it must have been for show so Victor won’t suspect us.  Don’t worry, darling.  I’ll keep it between us.  I’m nothing if not discrete._  

 

He crossed the room and pulled a rose free of a nearby vase and placed it on the pillow next to Yuuri.  The man sleepily reached for the stem teasing his hand and closed around it.  Sasha’s eyes widened. 

 

_Oh, you do want me!  You accepted my flowers once more._

 

Skipping to the next room, he pulled out a sketchpad.  Turning several pages he found a blank.  Reaching for a graphite stick, he returned to the living room and positioned himself in the chair across from Yuuri, butterflying his legs to support the sketchpad. 

 

He began with long guidelines, lightly creating the outline of Yuuri’s body.  Tucking in the chocolate poodle to the crook of his legs, he began working the shadow of Yuuri’s body, his fingers smudging the medium to blend and develop dimension. 

 

Yuuri shifted in his sleep, scratching his nose and causing it to wrinkle in his sleep for a moment before relaxing once more.  Sasha, pencil frozen, remained fixed until his subject settled back down.  Finally, stillness settled back over sleeping beauty, Sasha began his study once more, now adding in detail.  The soft glint of light on his lips, the slight freckling across the bridge of his nose, the curl of the cowlick that stubbornly refused to be tamed.  

 

Finally satisfied, he unfolded out of his chair and returned the sketchpad between the mattresses.  _This will keep our secret safe, my Yuuri.  Don’t worry._

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That chocolate poodle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one shows Cocoa...because who doesn't love that dog! Hugs to Yuuri...more invasion of space.
> 
> Thanks for all of the birthday wishes on Semicolon! :)
> 
> And thanks so much for reading!

* * *

 

 

Sasha watched Yuuri start to wake up.  So adorable, the way he scrunches his nose like that.  Those long lashes fluttered open to reveal unfocused brown orbs.  Sasha couldn’t stop the soft smile.  So pretty.  Yuuri stretched then reached for his glasses, setting them on his nose.  Then started scooting back against the couch when he spotted Sasha.

 

“Oh, I th-thought you w-were out,” Yuuri stammered.  His shyness was beyond adorable.

 

Sasha shrugged, a smile still playing at his lips.  “I haven’t been home long.”

 

Yuuri looked around uncertainly, perhaps a little disoriented.  “Wh-where’s Vitya?”

 

“He took Makkachin out.  Your little angel refused to leave your side.  She’s very loyal to you,” Sasha observed.  As if on cue, Cocoa moved over to stretch her paws into Yuuri’s lap.  _She’s hard to win over.  Treats do not appeal to her.  I have to find her reward._  “She’s well trained.”

 

“Well, she’s not a pet,” Yuuri stated flatly.  “She is a service dog.  It doesn’t mean I love her any less.  It’s just that she knows she has a job to do and that makes her happy.”  Yuuri threaded his fingers through her curls and her tail thumped back and forth eyeing Sasha suspiciously. 

 

“If you ever need someone to take her for a walk, I’m very good with animals.”

 

“It’s best if Victor or myself take care of her,” Yuuri stated.  “Back home, Ashley would take care of her if needed…but that’s only while we were waiting for her travel papers.”

 

“Ashley?”

 

“She’s a friend and the one who trained her.  One of my first non-skating friends in Detroit.”

 

 _He’s talking to me.  Opening up.  Yae!  I love getting to know you!_   Sasha worked hard to tamp down his excitement but he was giddy with excitement.  “I’m sure it was difficult living in another country.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “If I were less shy, it’d be easier.  But people have always taken me under their wing and helped me to learn how to fit in.”

 

“I’d be happy to help you fit in here, Yuuri,” Sasha offered eagerly.  He watched with a sigh as the walls clamped down on Yuuri’s expression.

 

“I-I appreciate the offer.  I have Vitya…and Yuri.  The other skaters have been very good to me.”

 

“But do you have a non-skating friend?” Sasha pressed.

 

“I-I suppose not…” Yuuri muttered, chewing his lip uncertainly.

 

“Let me be that friend.”

 

“I just…it’s hard…for me to get to know people.”  Yuuri drew his knees into his chest and Cocoa stood up licking his face.  Sasha frowned.  That was always something that annoyed him about Makkachin.  Dogs licking the face.

 

____

 

NOTE:  The licking of the face is part of Cocoa’s training to help calm Yuuri when he exhibits stress behaviors. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Building jealousy.

* * *

 

Sasha watched Yuuri wiping down the counters as he finished cleaning up the kitchen, Victor teasing him with his touch as the younger man danced through those movements.  They had an unconventional method of keeping house and cooking.  It seemed like Yuuri didn’t know how to work in the kitchen without dancing.  Sasha shifted his sketch board to cover the obvious effect of his observation.

 

_I’ve left you notes throughout the apartment and still you ignore me.  For him.  He’s such a cold fish.  Methodical in bed.  Perhaps you’ve never known better.  I could truly make you dance._

 

Victor twirled Yuuri out before Yuuri turned and danced back in, his arm slipping around Victor’s neck before lifting up on his toes to brush a teasing kiss over Victor’s lips.  Then with a twist of his knees, he danced out of the older man’s reach with a laugh.

 

_Your laugh is so musical.  I want to make you laugh.  I hate that you flinch in my presence.  You and I would be perfect together.  I keep thinking you’d get used to me.  You’d realize we are soulmates._

 

_Do you not realize how you inspire my pen?_

 

_Do you not understand you’re my muse?_

 

_Do you not desire to dance for me?_

 

_I could immortalize you._

 

_Paint you, make you my canvas._

 

_Light your passion on fire with my brush._

 

_Yet, you choose him._


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reacting to Victor’s admonishment. Torn between needing security and wanting Yuuri.

* * *

 

Sasha returned to his room stung by Victor’s words.  “Stay away from my boyfriend _.”  I’d never hurt Yuuri.  It was just a stroke of hand.  I love him.  I want what’s best for him, to love and to care for him._  

 

He shoved his door shut frowning, his brows furrowed.  He picked up the slight disarray in his room and stress cleaned the space.  _You aren’t worthy of him.  You’ve got him so afraid to be around anyone else, don’t you realize you’re hurting him?  You’ve imprisoned him with your so called love, Vitya.  Yuuri would be much better with me._

 

He began organizing his art supplies systematically sorting through things and starting a list of supplies that needed replenishment _.  I need to be able to stay here, though.  Yuuri is here.  I want Yuuri.  But Victor said not to touch him.  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I need to be close to him._

 

Reaching beneath the mattress, he pulled out the sketchpad and flipped to a new page.  Activating the camera app on his phone, he opened an image he took the previous day.  _Yuuri looked so adorable sleeping in his bed.  I love it when he naps.  He almost looks vulnerable.  There is a sweet innocence to his demeanor._

_I want to capture that innocence._

_I want to devour that innocence._

_I want to see that innocence slip away._

_You react to my touch.  But Victor doesn’t see the love between us.  Don’t touch you?_

_Maybe he does see something between us._

_Maybe he is jealous._

_Still, I need a place to live._


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And...remember how his friends reacted to Yuuri?

* * *

 

 

Sasha shoved tears out of his eyes as he sits among friends at the bar.  “H-he led me on.  I th-thought we had something.  I mean, I understand that I’d have to leave, b-but it started out just drawing his picture.”

 

“Then one thing led to another…” Sergei suggested and Sasha nodded in agreement.

 

Yanov frowned.  “You know better than to not keep it professional.”

 

“He’s beautiful!”  Sasha pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture.  It was one of Phichit’s photos…one with his _come hither_ look.

 

“Oh, shit,” Sergei responded.  “I’d cheat on my wife with that kind of look.”

 

“I know!  I hate to spoil a friendship over this.  I’m losing one of my best friends and I still don’t get the guy.  He’s totally got Vitya convinced that I’m the one that came onto him!”

 

“Fucker!”

 

Yanov frowned, looking from the photo to his friend.  He was used to Sasha’s hysterics.  “This wasn’t taken here.  This looks English…maybe American.  Are you sure he gave you that look?”

 

“Why do you doubt me?  You always do this!”  Sasha’s voice rose defensively.  “I don’t know where I’m going to go…”  His voice  dropped down, sounding small and vulnerable.

 

Sergei shifted uncomfortably.  His wife didn’t like Sasha.  Too much drama.

 

Yanov quirked the corner of his lip thoughtfully.   “My sister Liesl and her roommate Anastasia might might have a couple of rooms.  Let me check.  How long do you have?”

 

“A week…two at most.”

 

“Listen.  If I make this call, you’ve got to keep the drama at a minimum.  Liesl won’t put up with your shit.”

 

“I can do that.  Don’t worry!  I just…need a place until I can get everything sorted out.  Thank you, Yanov!”  Sasha smiled charmingly like a cat that’s been kicked to the curb but is now looking to get back into the good graces of his owner.  Yanov shook his head before he lifted his cell to make the call.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving Day!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have four planned posts today for this fiction!

* * *

 

****

Sergei must have shared the story with more of their friends so that on moving day, Sasha could see Yuuri’s discomfort to the point where he simply left.  Sasha sighed.  He hated to see him go.  He wanted to drink his fill of him in the process.  Victor surprisingly continued to help. 

 

As they walked into Liesl’s and Anya’s apartment, he directed art equipment and supplies into one room and bedroom gear into the other room.  Thankfully, Anya had an extra bed.  Liesl gave him a hard stare as the others left out to grab another load.

 

“I don’t know what you’re about, but no drama and don’t be late on your rent,” she stated, her voice holding a firm edge. 

 

“I paid you three months in advance,” Sasha pointed out, his lips thinning.  “Listen, I can keep to myself if you prefer.  I just need a place to sleep and work.”

 

“That one boy, the rich boy with the silver hair.  He’s the ex-boyfriend, isn’t he?”

 

“Ummm, yes?  How did-?”

 

“You reek of gold digger.  I don’t know how you managed to make friends with Yanov but I’m doing this as a favor to him.  Keep your drama out of my house.”

 

Sasha frowned.  Yanov warned him she was harsh.  “I’m just trying to get out of his house.”

 

She followed him with her eyes as he exited the apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Sasha watched Victor leave, a sad lump settling at the back of his throat.  I’m going to miss our friendship.   It’s not fair that we lost so much.  The heart wants what the heart wants…but I would have loved it if we could remain friends.

 

Sasha climbed the stairs to his new place.  He entered to find the rest of his friends enjoying drinks.  Vodka was all it took to buy their loyalty.  They didn’t know him, though.  Only what he projected.  Sasha pasted on a smile.  I might need them later.

 

As the evening petered out, he retreated to his new room and slipped between his sheets.  Reaching under the mattress, he frowned.  _Oh, I left that behind.  One last letter to declare my love for you.  It’s fine, though.  I have snapshots of my sketches and the photos I took as well as the ones that came from Phichit._

 

Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through the photos, his lip quivering, tears glistening in his eyes.  _All I want is for you to love me.  Why do you always choose him?  You never gave me a chance._


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha's first return to the apartment after the move. This probably should have gone before the previous chapter. OK FIXED! This posted after 19 but is now 18!

* * *

 

 

Sasha moved those keys through his fingers.  _Yuuri leaving them out for me to copy was genius!  He must have known Victor would eventually kicked me out.  That just gives me time to find a place for both of us.  I’m looking, though, darling._

 

_I wonder if you’ve found my love letters…just as you speak through dance and skating, I speak through my drawings.  I hope you see my love in them._

 

Sasha watched the comings and goings before approaching the building _.  I know how to get in but I need to throw Victor off.  I need to convince him that I can’t get in.  So here goes.  Let’s see how good the building protects its residents._

 

Entering the building, he walked with purpose the first time to the elevator.  Hmmm…nobody is stopping me.  Riding up the lift, he exited on Victor’s floor.  He glanced down the hall to see if anyone would see him.  _Well, hell, this is too easy._   Using his keys, he opened the door and slipped inside _.  I just need to check to see if he found my gifts._

 

Sasha first went to his old bedroom.  Frowning, he realized nothing has been disturbed since he left.  Still, he checked under the mattress.  The sketchbook was still there.  _Yuuri!  Have you found any of my letters?_

 

Furrowing his brow, he crossed the living room.  Carefully climbing up, he lifted the corner of the painting.  He thumbed the corner where the paper backing was loose.  Huffing, he tightened his lips.  _Still there._

 

He climbed back down and put the step ladder back into the kitchen where it wouldn’t be noticed.  Sighing, he entered the bedroom.  A low growl met him.  “Oh, hey, girl!  I didn’t expect you to be here.  Not without your master.”  He moved slowly as the dark colored poodle regarded him.  Makkachin watched from his pillow warily.  _Since when did you stop trusting me?_

 

He peeked behind the photo and found the song still in place.  _Damn!  Yuuri, I’ve even hinted at its presence.  So many times!_   His fingers ghosted over objects, things that hinted at Yuuri.  Victor’s things had clean lines.  Yuuri’s hinted at tradition.  Reaching the drawer, he opened it.  Rifling through, he found the letter still tucked up next to the drawer liner.  Sasha groaned.  Settling the lingerie back in place, his fingers brushed past a lone pair of panties tucked into the corner.  _He…he would want me to have this.  Don’t worry, love.  I’ll treasure it.  Until we can be together._

 

He started to exit when he rested his eyes on the bathroom.  I haven’t been in there since…Vitya and I.  Opening the door, he entered the room.  He stopped at the call of the porcelain throne and unzipped.  After a moment, he took the panties out and breathed in the hint of Yuuri’s perfume.  _He must spray it over his clothes.  Victor does that._   Reaching down, he took his length.  _I can’t go out like this.  I need to…take care of this.  At least, with thoughts of you, it will be like we’re together, my Yuuri.  Soon, love.  Just be patient with me._

 

Zipping up, he tucked the panties into his pocket.  He flushed the evidence down and went to the sink to wash up.  Makkachin chose this point to be curious.  Makkachin began sniffing at the pocket where Sasha stuffed the panties and backed up to look at him in confusion.  This combination of scents in this human wasn’t right.  He barked. 

 

 _Shit!  He’ll alert the apartment complex!_   He exited the bathroom and closed the large poodle into the room.  Cocoa bounded off the bed and rushed at him, barking and growling to drive him out of the room.  Sasha stumbled to the outer door and shut it. 

 

He was standing  outside the door, his fingers still on the surface when security exited the elevator.  “Can I help you sir?”

 

“Um, I moved out and hoped to catch Victor home.  I think I left something behind.”

 

The two guards shared a glance.  “Mr. Nikiferov isn’t home.  You’ll have to come with us.”

 

Sasha nodded.  “I’ll try to catch him later.  Thank you.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching the apartment.
> 
> (This was 18! I replaced it with another 18!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are the two I have written now. There will be two more later. :) Enjoy!

* * *

 

Sasha stood back just far enough to catch the light from the window.  Silhouettes ghosted through the curtain and Sasha could imagine Yuuri dancing in the kitchen.  _Soon, love.  Soon we can be together.  I’m not deterred by Victor forcing us to separate._

 

He waited.  Glancing at his phone, he knew it was almost time.  Then they exited the building, headed over to the dog park.  One of the dogs stilled, probably Cocoa, and stared in his direction, a low growl on her lips.

 

“What’s wrong, Cocoa?” Yuuri murmured, his higher pitched voice cutting through the cold evening air.  Victor was peering into the darkness as Yuuri crouched next to his dog.  Sasha shrank back.  He only wanted to watch.

 

Cocoa whined after a moment and the group withdrew further from the shadows.  The brown poodle kept her body between Yuuri and the woods, however.  _That dog never liked me.  And Yuuri rarely leaves without her.  They are joined by that lead._

 

Sasha frowned thoughtfully.  _What do I do about Cocoa?  Yuuri loves her.  It would hurt him if something happened to her…but she won’t let me near him.  How do I gain her trust?_

 

* * *

 

 

Liesl glanced over at him as he entered the apartment.  _Yanov, you owe me for this.  He’s an antisocial weirdo.  What the hell do you do when you go out at night?_

 

Sasha gave a little wave, offered a small smile as he shifted uncomfortably.  “Hello, Liesl.  Waiting up for Anya?”

 

“She is working late.  I sleep better once she’s home safe.  Where have you been?”

 

“Just a walk to clear my head before I sleep.”

 

Liesl thinned her lips.  “Uh huh.  You must have a lot on your mind.”

 

“You know…healing from a broken heart,” he responded with a shrug.

 

She narrowed her eyes but he shifted away, slinking down the hall.  _Yanov, if you put a serial killer in my apartment, I’m going to kill you…after I take him out.  He’s not getting near my Anya!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The back door.

* * *

 

Sasha smiled as the doorman turned him away.  This was what he wanted.  After a few attempts at entering, Victor will never suspect he can make a way inside.  He thumbed the key to the service door he got for a blowjob.  That doorman no longer worked for the building but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he had a way in.  Unlocking the door, he slipped inside, walking down the service hall.  There was an elevator used only by the cleaning crew that opened in a covered corner.  He found the elevator and used the key once more, smiling to himself.  It wasn’t the first time he went to the building.  He’s been in the room a few times.  Checking to see if Yuuri found his message.

 

He exited the elevator.  Moving towards the door to Victor’s apartment, he was inside before anyone could see him. 

 

Cocoa wasn’t home.  Anymore, Yuuri left with her at his side.  Sometimes Makka stayed home and sometimes not.  Sasha knew even Makka was getting wary of his visits, his scent causing Makka to draw back in distrust.  Perhaps locking him in the bathroom was a bad idea. 

 

Sasha moved through the house efficiently.  Checking the mattress, he smiled.  _That’s one!_   He went to Victor’s bedroom.  _Soon, love.  Soon we can be together.  Soon I can show you true love._

 

He stroked the edge of the photo before reaching around the edge.  He could now tell by touch whether or not his note had been discovered.  Sighing, he swallowed back a knot in his throat.  _I just want you to see my words, my drawings, my declarations, Yuuri!  I want to make love to you.  I miss you._   He traced the edge of the frame blinking back tears.

 

Turning to the drawer, he opened it and noticed the lingerie was disturbed.  However, further searching showed the letter still in place.  He huffed in frustration.  _One day I’ll whisper my words to you.  Breathing them into your ear._

 

His fingers glossed over the surface of the dresser and then he found Yuuri’s perfume.  _Eros_.  Such a lovely scent.  Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out a piece of black silk.  Spritzing the perfume, he smiled at the fresh scent, imagining burying his nose into Yuuri’s neck.  _Soon, love._


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liesl is done!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four more chapters today then one a day until 27 if complete. I may add more little snippets later. I have them in my head.
> 
> NOTE...it is important that TOMORROW you read Ch. 25 of St. Petes FIRST before you read Ch. 25 of Sasha.

* * *

 

Liesl scowled at her brother.  “You can’t just unload your problems on me!”

 

“I knew you could take care of it if there was a problem,” Yanov argued.

 

“It’s not just me anymore.  I have Anya.  You know this.  This guy is off his rocker.  He’s always doing sketchy things.  I think he might be stalking his ex.”

 

Yanov frowned.  “Why do you think that?”

 

“I don’t know, he goes out in a dark hoodie and comes in at all hours of the night.  His behavior is secretive.  He’s not…friendly.  I thought you said he was friendly though a bit on the extra side.”

 

Yanov sighed.  “At one time…yes.  I don’t know what’s happened to him.  I guess that boyfriend really fucked with his head.  I…kind of hoped his old self would show up.”

 

“Are you sure the boyfriend fucked with _his_ head?  We’ve talked about this kid before.  You told me that Victor Nikiforov was very generous as exes go.  Gave him a place to stay when he needed it.  Always made sure he was fed.  Always supported his art, buying canvases from him.  I mean, I know what it’s like to be a starving artist.  We watched mom struggle raising two kids.  It’s not like papa was in the picture that much.  And when he was, he was drunk.  Still, this kid had a benefactor.  What happened to screw that up?”

 

“Victor moved back with a new boyfriend.  I’m not sure what happened.  Sasha seemed convinced that he and the new boyfriend had something going on between them.  Except…nothing was adding up.  I’m sorry.  I…don’t think he’s dangerous.”

 

Liesl huffed.  “Help him find some place new.  I’ll give him back his rent.  I don’t want him here.  If he’s not out in two weeks, I’m kicking his ass, then yours.”

 

“Okay, Liesl.  I’ll work on it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sasha huffed with frustration when he watched Victor pull out of the garage in the SUV.  Yuuri never ran anymore.  And he seemed to always have that dog with him.   Sighing, he turned his steps back to his apartment.  As he approached the building, he spotted Yanov leaning against the building.  He didn’t look happy.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ballet studio.

* * *

 

 Sasha slipped into the back door of the skating rink and worked his way through the maze.  He’d been here when he dated Victor but he knew Yuuri danced in the evenings.  It took some time observing Yuuri to realize which studio he used.  Now he made his way up to find a place to hide.  He smiled as he considered the keys Yuuri left for him that day.  It held everything, the keys to his life.  Just for Sasha! 

 

Sasha found the studio unoccupied and moved through the room and slipped into the shadows of the dressing room. 

 

It was over an hour before Yuuri arrived.  Sasha watched from his place of hiding as Yuuri laid out his clothes precisely before he began removing his sweaty rink clothes.  Sasha’s lips parted as he watched the casual strip tease as Yuuri lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it towards his duffle.  Next came the skate pants.  He pushed them off his hips along with his underwear.  Into the pile they flew with ease, Yuuri not even looking as he gave them a pitch.

 

As Yuuri stood, his expression pensive, Sasha swallowed.  He’d worked with nude models in the past but nothing prepared him for the vision before him.  The definition in his abs was subtle but present, a soft layer of skin stretching over the surface.   He turned towards the showers and slipped under the stream not bothering with the curtain believing himself alone.  He rinsed off, long movements of his hands over his body. 

 

He watched Yuuri exit the shower drying off.  Even flaccid, he was a beautiful specimen.  Sasha watched him dress with care, pulling on the dance belt, then tights.  The black fabric smoothed out over the muscles well defined, formed from years of training.  He reached for the tank, black and loose, the words _Make Music with Your Body_ printed in a script in pink glitter.  Something Victor probably gave him. 

 

Taking a seat on the bench, he checked the plasters on his feet before adding athletic tape.  Then he reached for his dance shoes, jazz style.  Securing them on his feet, Yuuri shivered and took a look around the room with a frown.  Sasha froze, staying hidden behind the vented door.  Yuuri shrugged and slipped out of the room before Sasha could breathe. 

 

_My Yuuri…so beautiful.  You’ll be all mine soon!_


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neighborhood walk.

* * *

 

There had been a number of times he took that walk.  His feet always brought him to Victor’s neighborhood.  Not that anyone could blame him.  If you want to find an affluent boyfriend, you have to go where the money is.  At least that’s what he told himself as his feet carried him down familiar streets.

 

He waved at Mrs. Chekova as she set up the stands for the flower shop that morning.  The coffee shop he frequented when he lived in the neighborhood was just around the corner.  He…had enough for a cup, he thought with a frown.  _I might need to sell a few canvases but most of my recent work is of Yuuri.  I don’t know…if I’m ready for that.  Parting with your face is almost painful._

 

He dropped down into a chair after acquiring his latte and stared out the window.   So many people walked by this shop never noticing the occupants inside.  He loved it here, a great place to people watch.  Pulling out his sketchpad, he began laying out the lines quickly as people came and went, some jogging, some walking, many lost into the voices on their phones.  He watched one person turn around backwards to shout angry expletives at someone who bumped into him only to collide into another person. 

 

Sasha winced as he watched that person take a swing.  I hate fighting.  It…makes me think of back then and I don’t like to think of them.

 

He took a sip of his drink and continued to work the lines.  Apparently someone had observed him because he looked up when a pastry was placed on his table.  “I purchased too much.  You wouldn’t mind finishing this off for me, would you?” he asked.

 

Sasha offered an appreciative and charming smile.  “Thank you.”

 

The gentleman smiled back.  “Perhaps later you’d like to go out for dinner.  I’d hate to see talent like that starve.”

 

Sasha glanced at his sketch thoughtfully.  He was well aware the price of such a dinner but he’d pay it if his sights weren’t set on another.  “I appreciate the offer.  I’m currently involved with another.”

 

The man shrugged.  “Can’t blame a man for trying.  Maybe next time.”  He waved and sauntered out the door, his steps still light after the rejection.  _Maybe I should have taken him up on it.  It could lead to a comfortable place to stay and who knows when…_

 

His thoughts trail off as he spots Yuuri walking by with Cocoa close by.  Victor held onto his hand.  _Oh, he doesn’t let you out of his reach these days.  Don’t worry, love.  I’m watching for my opportunity._

 

_Our opportunity._


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the fight...

* * *

 

Liesl studied the man as he walked into the apartment.  “What happened to you?  Run into a brick wall?”

 

“I think I underestimated my ex’s strength,” Sasha muttered.

 

“He hit you?” Liesl asked, her voice switching to concern.  “Why?”

 

“Because he’s a suspicious asshole convinced everyone is after his boyfriend,” Sasha replied flatly.  “Listen, I really don’t want to talk about it.  I’m going…to go get cleaned up.”

 

Sasha disappeared down the hall.  In the bathroom, he pulled out a towel and began to wipe down the  surface.  It didn’t help that Victor wore a ring.  Sasha frowned.  This wasn’t what he expected.  He’s never seen Victor moved to violence.  What am I doing?

 

A tap on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.  “Are you going to press charges?”

 

Sasha shrugged.  “I may have mouthed off during the fight.  It was stupid.”

 

“Well, most fights are,” she pointed out.  “Has he done this before?  Hit you?”

 

Sasha shook his head.  “That’s why it caught me off guard.  I didn’t even have time to block him.  Not…that I’d be able to.”  He pressed the towel against the wound and grimaced. 

 

“Gimme that.  You need some ice!”  She dragged him out of the bathroom and led him to the kitchen.  As she wrapped a bag of ice with a towel, she asked him, “So what happened?”

 

“He has this boyfriend.  And that boyfriend did things to break apart our friendship.  And…he’s beautiful.  Physically beautiful.  I thought…he liked me.”

 

“He was someone else’s boyfriend.  You’re friend’s boyfriend,” Liesl pointed out.  “Even if he came onto you, that alone should be enough to push him away.”

 

“I-I know.  I just…I want him,” Sasha admitted with a breath.

 

Liesl shook her head.  “This won’t end well.”

 

* * *

 

Sasha was alone in his room as he scanned social media.  Victor received quite a bit of negative press over the matter.  Even with his PR team trying to zip it up, it would be difficult to put this story to bed.  He plugged up his phone and laid it upside down on the shelf.  Climbing into bed, he smiled as he pulled the blanket over his body. 

 

_You won’t even realize it when I take your boyfriend.  He’ll be gone before you know it._


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stormy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: PLEASE READ Ch. 25 of St. Petersburg first! This is meant to follow…a change of perspective.

* * *

 

NOTE:  PLEASE READ Ch. 25 of St. Petersburg first!  This is meant to follow…a change of perspective.

 

 

Yuuri hadn’t left for days.  The power was out and Sasha finally saw his opportunity.  He slipped into the building down deserted corridors.  Moving into the hallway, he approached the apartment.  The building was quiet, so many still at work.  Opening the door quietly he stepped inside.

 

Yuuri curled up asleep.  Sasha’s lips parted.  So beautiful!  He took a step in Yuuri’s direction when he heard a low growl.  That damn dog!  Yuuri shifted in his sleep then slowly come alive.  Sasha shifted then winced when he heard the scuff of his shoe against the floor.  Yuuri started upright, his eyes honed in on Sasha.

 

“Who’s there?” the beautiful Japanese man asked.

 

Sasha stepped out of the shadows and greeted him warmly.  “Yuuri, my dear…” 

 

“Sasha!” the younger man said his name almost breathlessly.  So sexy, my Yuuri.

 

“I’ve come for you.  I found us a place.  We can be together now.”  Sasha moved closer to him, reaching out towards the younger man.  The other man fought him, scrambling to get away from him.  “Yuuri, we can be together now,” he repeated.

 

The blow caught him off guard.  Staggering back, he hit the floor.  Somewhat disoriented he focused in on the noise of a door closing and lock going in place.  _That’s okay, Yuuri.  I can get to you._ He slowly pushed himself up and found his feet.  He staggered to the door and inserted the key clumsily, the lock scraping as he finally made contact.  He release the lock and slowly opened the door. 

 

Yuuri was backing into a corner, his voice panicked.  The dogs were between him and Yuuri.  Sasha narrowed his eyes as he looked at Yuuri.  _He’s…afraid of me.  Why…is he afraid?_   

 

Then the dogs rushed him.  He ran through the door, trying to close the bedroom door.  Makkachin pushed through.  He found his way out of the apartment door with Makkachin on his trail.  Cocoa’s impact on the door caused it to close.  Sasha ran, finding the emergency stairwell.  He finally got away.

 

Moving down the stairs, he struggled to get his head in order.  Something was wrong.  Yuuri was afraid.  He exited into the night air and stumbled into the park _.  I think…I fucked up.  Yuuri…._


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath

* * *

 

 **Alexander Pavlovich Vasiliev.**   Sasha listened as they read off his full name and the arrest warrant, the cuffs tight on his wrists.  He swallowed, uncertain, unsure, afraid.  _How could you not want me?  We are soulmates, meant to be together.  Can’t you see that?_   A hand was placed on his head as he was guided into the police care _.  You…were afraid of me.  Am I…a monster?  Am I…like one of those who hurt you?  How did it come to this?_

 

An hour later and Sasha found himself face to face with his former boyfriend.  “Lyosha,” he murmured, his voice small, the only person he had on his contact information. _I have nobody._

 

“Sasha, what have you gotten yourself into?  They called me.  I’m still listed as your next of kin.”   Alexei sat before him, his lips thin.  Sasha faced him with his hands still cuffed.  Looking up, the younger man beseeched him with his eyes to somehow save him.  “Do you not see what you did was wrong?  You attacked that man.”

 

“I-I didn’t know.  I think…I need help.”

 

“They want to put you in jail.”

 

“Can you not help me?”

 

“I can’t get you out of this, Sasha.  I’m not that important.”

 

Sasha studied his hands, the cuffs felt tight.  “I…don’t trust myself.  Perhaps…I should go to jail,” he whispered.  “I never meant to hurt him.  I never meant for him to be afraid.  But…I keep hearing things in my head, suggestions that…it’s lies, isn’t it?  I shouldn’t have left you.  Please help me, Lyosha!”

 

Alexei frowned, truly sad for the pathetic man before him.  “I can’t.  At best…I can argue an asylum.  Perhaps there, they can shatter the delusion.”  Sighing, he ran his fingers down Sasha’s cheek.  “Perhaps,” he whispered.  “I’ll try.”

 

With those words of promise, Alexei stood up and walked away.

 

Sasha drew his legs into his chest.  _My Yuuri…I never wanted to hurt you._

 

* * *

 

 

Liesl frowned as she looked at the police warrant.  _Yanov, you and your sleazy friends!_   To the officer, she smiled.  “How can I help you?”

 

“We are investigating your roommate Alexander Vasiliev.  Can you show me his personal quarters?”

 

Liesl groaned and led him down the hall.  “He hasn’t been here long.  I’ve been trying to get him to move.  He’s really weird.”

 

“What can you tell us about him?”

 

“He was kicked out by his ex-boyfriend.  However, he seemed obsessed with the ex’s current boyfriend.  I didn’t want any part of his drama so I was trying to get him to move.  This is his room and the door to the right is his studio.”

 

“Did he frequent any other spaces?”

 

“Not really.  He kept mostly to himself.”  She stood awkwardly as the police began to go through the space.  “I will be in the living room if you need me.”  She frowned as she pulled out her cell.

 

**Liesl/ Yanov, the police is at my place.  You better get over here.  Your friend fucked up.**

 

**Yanov/ I’m on my way.  Sergei already called.  He attacked that kid!**

 

**Liesl/ Sadly, I’m not surprised.  I told you he’s not right in the head.**

 

* * *

  

Sasha curled up in the cell, white walls, a small window with mesh wire glass.  It…wasn’t prison.  Alexei managed to get him into a psychiatric facility. Sasha was afraid and his delusions kept whispering to him, drawing him towards the fantasy.  It would be easy to retreat into his thoughts.   _Yuuri?  Do you miss me?_


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clinical notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember...I am just a writer who imagines herself to know stuff (fake it till I make it) and I am researching this using the internet. This is fiction.

* * *

 

**St. Petersburg Psychiatric Hospital of Specialized Type with Intense Observations**

 

Patient Notes:  Alexander Pavlovich Vasiliev

 

Occupation:  Artist

 

History:

Patient was orphaned at an early age after both parents succumbed to the AIDS epidemic in St. Petersburg and placed into the SOS Children’s Village in Pushkin.  He was among the first residents in 2000 and lived there until he joined the SOS Youth Program in St. Petersburg.  During his stay in the Village, he learned appropriate social behaviors but failed to properly attach to caregivers and other children.  Records indicate that there were signs of abuse and neglect upon his arrival.  He has multiple reprimands for stealing and lying on his record.  However, it is noted by officials that he has a charming personality and can often talk his way out of trouble.

Patient is a homosexual male who is in psychiatric care do to an unhealthy obsession that has led to stalking behaviors.  Patient continues to show attachment to the subject even though he has struggled with maintaining attachments in the past.

 

Prior long-term relationships:

Patient entered into a long-term relationship with Victor Nikiforov at age nineteen.  Mr. Nikiforov is three years older than the patient.  Patient claims they broke off their relationship because Mr. Nikiforov could not devote the necessary time for the relationship.  However, they remained friends until recently with Mr. Nikiforov often providing a place for the patient to stay when needed.

Patient entered into a long-term relationship with Alexei Kozlov at age twenty-one.  He maintained that relationship for the next three year.  Patient claims the relationship dissolved due to Kozlov’s controlling behavior.  However, Kozlov maintains that this was due to patient’s interest in another man and they did not part amicably.  However, Mr. Kozlov continues to maintain contact with patient since his incarceration.

During both long-term relationship, patient admits to several affairs with the claim that his partners refused to meet his needs.

 

Current status:

Patient continues to maintain the delusion that he’s in a relationship with Katsuki Yuuri, the Japanese figure skater currently involved with patient’s prior boyfriend Victor Nikiforov. 

 

Diagnosis:

Patient presents with Erotomanic Delusional Disorder with a fixation on Yuuri Katsuki.  It is recommended the patient is to have no contact with the object of his fixation. 

Patient exhibits strong symptoms of Insecure-Anxious Attachment style likely stemming from early childhood neglect.  These symptoms include:  (1) Strong desire for a union; (2) Higher levels of erotophilia; (3) Extreme jealousy; (4) Extreme sexual attraction; (5) Greater infidelity; (6) Overly expressive; (7) Feels underappreciated and misunderstood; (8) Clingy in relationships; (9) Use of substitute fantasy; (10) Continued pursuit of failed relationships; (11) Ignoring adverse reactions to their advances.

Patient also exhibits obsessional cognitions ignoring legal and social constraints to their behavior; pathological narcissism causing the patient to view himself as a victim and exhibiting grandiose delusions; and failure to form a stable attachment. 

 

Treatment:

Psychotherapy accompanied by antipsychotics. 

 

 

NOTES: 

In this setting, Sasha is not being treated as if homosexuality is a mental defect.  However, according to many sources, this would be the case. 

[Source](https://www.macalester.edu/academics/psychology/whathap/UBNRP/Website_Attachement/stalking.html) for Sasha’s diagnosis.

[Source 2](http://diseasedefinition.info/erotomania-definition-types-causes-symptoms-treatment-and-case-studies/) for Sasha’s diagnosis and treatment.

Sasha is an [intimacy seeking](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/talking-about-trauma/201306/in-the-mind-stalker) stalker.

The [hospital](https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/talking-about-trauma/201306/in-the-mind-stalker) where Sasha is incarcerated is a prison type mental hospital.

The [SOS Children’s Village](http://www.sos-usa.org/where-we-are/europe/russia/st-petersburg) was created to combat overcrowding orphanages.  Overcrowded orphanages often led to [attachment](https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/understanding-attachment/attachment-disorders/) disorder as does [neglect](http://instituteforattachment.ong/why-kids-dont-outgrow-reactive-attachment-disorder-and-what-happens-when-they-grow-up-without-help/) during early childhood.  This disorder will not simply disappear.  It’s a brain injury due to abuse and neglect. The links will help you understand more if you are curious.

 

Thank you for reading Sasha’s story.   I hope you enjoyed this other side of the story, watching Sasha devolve into his mental illness. It always existed.  However, it wasn’t until he fixated on Yuuri that it revealed its more dangerous side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have plans to write more on Sasha's story...so stay tuned. ;)


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